Sazon Mas “Blago”?

Blago.jpg

Chicago, IL- Mas Guapo Foods of Charlottesville, VA, may be exploring a celebrity endorsement deal with former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.   A document anonymously posted on the website Wikileeks appears to iterate a list of various promotional services to be provided by Blagojevich to Mas Guapo Foods, in return for financial remuneration. 

            Blagojevich, who was impeached by the Illinois House of Representatives for misconduct, was recently tried on federal corruption charges stemming from allegations the he tried to “sell” the Illinois Senate seat vacated by President Barack Obama.  He was convicted on one of the 24 charges, lying to the FBI, and the jury was hung on 23 other counts. In anticipation of a lengthy and costly retrial, sources say that Blagojevich is actively pursuing revenue from a variety of different sources, including reality television appearances, speaking engagements, “meet and greet” sales, plasma donation, and product endorsements. 

            Below is an excerpt of the alleged draft contract with Mas Guapo Foods:

Section 4.2Promotional Services and Considerations

            The Client shall provide any or all of the following promotional services to the Company for the financial considerations noted:

a.             Wear signature artificial facial hair (“‘Stache”) for photo shoot, for limited use on company website and electronic mail correspondence-                                                             $5,000;

b.             a. and include unlimited license for use-                                                        $7,500;

c.             a., b., and make  four public appearances with ‘Stache in one calendar year-  $10,000;

d.             a., b., c. and display permanent tattoo of Company Logo-                              $11,000;

e.             a., b., c., d., and attendance at Company Holiday Party-                                 $13,500;

f.              a., b., c., d.,  e., accompanied by a performing monkey-                                 $14,000;

g.            a., b., c., d., e., f., singing and dancing with above monkey-                            $14,500;

h.            a., b., c., d., e., f., g., and sponsorship of all future court appearances- Client to wear Company-branded apparel in court, and to respond  to all bench inquiries with “On the advice of counsel and the zesty   deliciousness of Sazon Mas Guapo, …”-                                   $38,000;

i.              a., b., c., d., e., f., g., h., and endorse a limited-edition, Natural Hair “Blago ‘Stache”- Client to provide sufficient cranial hair for 1,000 artificial  mustaches-                     $45,000;

           While Mas Guapo officials would neither confirm nor deny the legitimacy of the document, or comment on any future engagement of services with the former governor, the spice company has been aggressively promoting its flagship product, Sazon Mas Guapo, a gourmet spice blend purported to make its users more attractive.   Though Blagojevich has not commented for this story, media experts believe that a partnership with the spice giant might benefit the beleaguered ex-governor.  “Mas Guapo might just make him a more handsome chef and less of a douche at the same time.”